Conservative Myths - What Every American Should Know About Republican Politics & Politicians

Conservative Minds, Who Are The Conservatives?

Who are the conservatives? Let's examine the conservative minds, the various types of conservative, how they think, and their legacy. We shall see that conservatives of different stripes all agree on this: they are superior and right and the rest of the world is inferior and wrong!

Is the Alt-Right really the Alt-Left?

A key conservative dares to change the definition of "fascism" from being extreme right to extreme left

by Rusticus

Now get this. Remember we warned you on our home page that the conservative myth-makers manage to turn truth upside down: "up" is down, and "right" is wrong; "persons" can be corporations; "pro life" is anti-abortion but pro war, pro death penalty, pro animal factory farming, pro hunting, all which tend to abuse, torture and end life; the "blue skies" initiative allows greater air pollution; "healthy forests" are those that are clearcut; the "Patriot Act" strips away American rights, etc., etc. Conservatives are the masters at coming up with these catchy but grotesque distortions, and the myth-believers gobble them down. Well guess what? They are at it again. Now some conservatives are desperate to exile the worst of their own ideology, the Alt-Right, out of their ideological sphere, and over to... the liberals! According to these conservatives, the Alt-Right is really the Alt-Left! Beautiful. Perfectly in keeping with conservatism's utter disregard for actual truth... and, you know, morality. How low can you go? How disingenous. How deceitful. How sinister. How evil. Very, very low. But, hey, that's conservatism.

Here's Dan Schneider, a major player in Republican politics. He's the executive director of the American Conservative Union, the group that organizes the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC). Here this perfect example of conservative excrement explains how all up is down and right is left. Check out this video, and follow along below as we respond directly to this con-man and interject a little truth.

"We have been slapped in the face!"

What a surprise! You conservatives have long had a deal with the devil, and when the demons finally come out to play in the toxic mess you have created, you feign great distress. Sad. You're being slapped in the face by the truth about your own ideology. You just haven't quite figured out that conservatism starts off just minutely bad, then gets worse and worse as it travels further right. Finally, it runs smack into, yep, fascism.

"There is a sinister organization that is trying to worm its way in to our ranks."

You've got it backwards, Mr. Schneider. Your ranks emerged from white supremacy and intolerance. You're just the "lites" to the Alt-Right "fundies." Meanwhile, there is nothing the Alt-Right can say that is more sinister and despicable than what you are about to do.

"We must not be duped. We must not be deceived."

So go ahead and begin the duping and deceiving...

"This is serious business."

All of conservatism is serious business. Seriously bad.

"We have heard what conservatism is. We have to make sure we know what conservatism is not."

Oh, do tell us; we are anxious to get the latest alt-facts about conservatism by a professional conservative who knows that the true beliefs of conservatism must not be revealed.

"Just a few years ago, this hate-filled, LEFT-WING fascist group hijacked the very term "alt-right."

Well there you go. If there exists the God of the Bible, you just punched your ticket to hell.

Let's pause right here for a moment to fully take in the breath-taking weight, the depravity and the pure evil of this statement.

Do you realize what has happened here? A leading conservative figure, Dan Schneider, has spouted one of the most damning (and damnable) lies it is possible to utter! He has just engaged in one of the worst willful lies in history. He has blamed innocence and virtue for evil.

Wait. Is that overstatement? No. not at all! Fascism is one of the most evil human institutions of all time. Its representatives, notably the Nazis, are basically the nadir of the Homo sapiens species. All the world long ago identified them and agreed they were extreme, or we could say "pure," conservatives. They did not honor universal values; they served traditional "values." They did not serve democracy; they were authoritarians. And surprise, surprise... this is the textbook, dictionary definition of "conservative." Politically and socially the values of Nazi Germany were the opposite of American values. That's why Germany and fascist Italy and Imperial Japan, two other pure conservative regimes, clashed in war with the United States, Great Britain, France and other LIBERAL democracies. Liberal democracy defeated conservatism fascism in World War II, as it did in World War I, the Civil War and the American Revolutionary War.

Liberality, the true Left, had nothing whatsoever to do with the Nazis. NOTHING! Then or now. And the devious attempt for this charlatan to absolve his ideology of this greatest breach of decency and pin it on his ideological opponent is nothing but the lowest of filth. It is, in fact, precisely Nazi-like in its demonization and persecution of a totally innocent and virtuous entity. This predator is attempting to convince his audience that his brand of conservatism is the opposite of the fascist Alt-Right, as he engages in Alt-Right, fascist behavior. Now that's a good (alt-fact) conservative!

This horrible cretin of a human has just blamed evil on innocence, on LIBERALITY, the force of the Renaissance, the Enlightenment, Democracy, Equality, Justice for All and America itself! The source of those ringing words, "All men are created equal." This is where this conservative wishes to pin blame for the dirtiest, filthiest, bloodiest ideology that ever stalked the planet. What kind of vile mind would wish to transfer its own sin to some other? A thief of history. A mugger of virtue. A murderer of truth. And from an ethical and moral and higher spirtual perspective, what could be worse than such wicked intent?

He has just blasphemed millions of Americans of the liberal persuasion, which just happens to be the original American persuasion - remember the original American conservatives were the Tories... they were OPPOSED to the patriots of the Revolution.

Not just that, he has besmirched the memory of all those U.S. servicemen and women and citizens at home who fully understood that they were fighting against Hitler and his radical conservative, fascist Nazis. That was the "good war," remember? The Allies were the liberal democratic force of good LIBERATING Europe and the Pacific islands from the evil fascist, conservative Nazis, Italians and Japanese. That's what LIBERALS do... they liberate. Conservatives conserve... their Dominator Hierarchy!

Recall our dictionary and thesaurus definitions and synonyms. ALL of these authorities support the concept that fascism is Right-Wing! liberals liberate and conservatives conserve. Fascists never liberate anyone; they enslave and murder them. Meanwhile, "conserving" the "tradition" of might makes right is 100% fascist, and 100% conservative.

Mr. Schneider, you should well know that your party is full of loons... armed to the teeth, and prone to violence. Many conservatives will believe anything, and you have just given them a false and terrible alt-fact that one or more of these creeps may choose to act upon. If some goon wants to be a conservative hero by taking out a "liberal fascist," that blood is on YOUR HANDS. Shame, shame, shame, Schneider.

Mr. Schneider, you own an apology to every liberal in America! Following that apology, you should immediately step down from the American Conservative Union and Conservative Political Action Conference. You have not the integrity to be given influence over ANYTHING in this great country. You should go away, shut up, and hide in shame. We also here call on all fair-minded conservatives who believe in true American and Christian values, who cherish truth, justice and morality, to disavow and condemn Mr. Schneider and his vile words and demand that he step away from any official reprensentation of the Republican Party or conservatism. Failure to do this will indicate that American conservatism agrees with his venomous proclamation and approves of his fascist-like tactics. That would certainly be par for the course, for conservatism is not known for its ethics or morality, despite what they like to believe... and the Alt-Right is proof positive. Prove us wrong, conservatives. Discipline your bomb-throwers such as Schneider, or do not even begin to tell America that you are any different from the Alt-Right! Here, we are not finished pummeling Schneider. Let's continue with his abominable litany of lies.

"That term, alt-right, has been used for a long time in a very good and normal way."

More lies and distotion. There was no other, noticeable "long time," "good and normal" usage of the term. If there was, why didn't one of these bright bulbs think to copyright the term, or at the very least solidify their definition of the term. Sean Hannity of Fox News is a canny conservative, yet he claims he had never heard of the Alt-Right until 2016! No, publicity came only after white supremacist Richard Spencer, who claims to have coined the term, succeeded in organizing the beginning of a movement. Sure, he probably did not invent the term - you know how conservatives lie and boast - but it was not "used for a long time in a very good and normal way."

"We must not allow them to become normalized."

Agreed. That was the mistake we made with conservatism as a whole. The whole shebang needs to be marginalized.

"They are not part of us. They stole the term specifically to confuse us."

Again, a bald-faced lie. They proudly proclaim themselves as conservatives, and they are in perfect accord with true conservative values. For decades conservatives have moaned that their elected officials are not "pure" enough. You have even established strict litmus tests for your politicians. Well, this is the fruit of that sowing. The Alt-Right is that more "pure" form of conservatism many of you have worked hard to bring. Is it a monster? Sure. But it's YOUR monster. You are confused about conservatism itself if you suggest otherwise.

"They are anti-Semites."

Yes, non-Jewish persecution of Jews is very traditional and hierarchical, i.e. conservative.

"They are racists."

Yes, white persecution of non-white is very traditional and hierarchical, i.e. conservative.

"They are sexists."

Yes, male subjugation and demeaning of females is very traditional and hierarchical, i.e. conservative.

"They hate the Constitution."

Yes, hating most of the Constitution (except for the Second Amendment) is very conservative. Conservatives do not believe in democracy, as is clearly proven by their incessant voter suppression and opposition to every type of civil rights for as long as the United States has existed. As the primary document for our democratic republic, the Constitution has been a continual thorn in their side. There is very little about it they like. They especially hate the most soaring part, the grand overview, the Preamble, which includes the ugly word "Union" and that horrendous "General Welfare" bit. To diminish the Constitution's viability they even claim it is "dead," meaning not alive, flexible and adapting to changing culture and conditions. So conservatives are the Constitution-haters, not the liberals, you know, the ideology that wrote it. Oh, and the Declaration of Independence, too. Remember they caused a Civil War in protest of that "All men are created equal" idea. These are the original source of "politically correctness," which they so detest. But while the Alt-Right, like all conservatives, hate the Constitution and democracy, they LOVE the idea of a nation! The best is a "pure" nation. They are uber-nationalists... just like you. They are fake patriots... just like you. They hate the European Union and want to break it up into small, "pure" nations again... just like you. Europe returning to a chronic blood-bath is their dream. Hey, it's "cleansing." They believe in Germany, er America First! Meaning White America... just like you. They think this country belongs to them, not all those "others"... just like you. And they want to impose domination upon all of those "others"... just like you. Oh, you guys would so get along if you just sat down and had a beer (German, of course) together. Try it out with Steve Bannon, and see how it goes. You'll find you have a lot of conservative ideas totally in common. You silly conservatives... you know you so want to try out that Siel Heil. Go ahead, Trump will love it. You know he will.

"They hate Free Markets."

Oh, sure they rail against "globalism," but they love the Free Market that gives them the freedom to discriminate against anyone they want. In truth, the only reason they hate globalism is that they aren't in control of it. Once they step into power, like the neocons (or Hitler) they will be much more interested in globalism.

They hate pluralism."

Yes, conservative opposition to diversity and multiculturalism is very traditional and hierarchical, i.e. conservative.

"They despise everything we believe in."

Oh, you doth protest too much. You have almost everything in common... they just go a smidge further than you do. Like you, they are true believers in tradition and hierarchy and "pure" nationalism. That's what makes a conservative. Look it up in the dictionary, why don't you? It's very simple.

"They are not an extension of conservatism."

You are dead wrong. They most certainly are. Just because you wish it weren't true doesn't make it untrue. You are either stupid or lying, or quite likely both.

"They are nothing but garden variety Left-Wing fascists."

There you go again. That just knocked you down to an even lower level of hell. You just went through a textbook laundry list of what conservatism is all about, then you want to turn around and blame the liberals. What a toxic soul you are, sir.

Now some in the media are wondering what do I mean by 'left-wing fascists?' Just a quick little tutorial in political philosophy."

Oh, this should be precious.

"On the right, you have more individual freedom and liberty, and less intrusive government."

Riiiiggghht! Let's sweep aside the very consistent historic conservative OPPOSITION to almost every single liberating movement in human history, from slavery, the divine right of kings, women's subjugation, worker's rights, LGBT rights, consumer rights, environmental rights. Let's put our heads in the sand regarding conservative BIG GOVERNMENT that would dictate what kind of sex you can have, who can marry, what must go on in a woman's uterus, backs up corporations against people, indeed, even proclaims that corporations are persons! The idea that conservatives believe in freedom and liberty (for anyone other than themselves) and do not believe in Big Government are two of the biggest Conservative Myths. See our list of the Top Ten Conservative Myths for further explanation.

"On the left, you have bigger, more intrusive government, less liberty."

Total distortion. The "bigger government" is a function first and foremost of three rapidly expanding aspects of our nation and its role in the world: population growth, complexity and ever more powerful capabilities within and without the country. The "small government" that so many conservatives wish for has never, and cannot exist in a modern world. This is also discussed at length in our Top Ten Conservative Myths. As well, our Big Government is a result of bipartisan contributions, from the left and the right, with the conservatives actually growing it faster than the liberals! Meanwhile, has this Big Government constrained overall liberty? Not when it is being liberal; then it has increasingly liberated more Americans. Oh sure, some conservatives are put off that they are mandated to wear seat belts or carry insurance, or can't drink and drive, or have to pay taxes, but these common sense and compassionate regulations "liberate" the entire public into a safer and saner, more just, more prosperous and flourishing society. Liberal American government has also systematically attempted to liberate vast sections of the population: poor people, the uneducated, slaves, women, workers, children, gays, transgender people, even animals, from the oppression of conservative tradition and hierarchy, evil that was in league with much "bigger" government intrusion into our lives. Remember when conservative government would not allow you to marry someone of a different race? Now that was Big Government. And how about now... where conservative Big Government will throw you in jail, confiscate your house, and ruin your life for smoking pot... a natural herb that has been proven to be far less addictive and dangerous than alcohol, nicotine and many other legal drugs, indeed, it is now confirmed to be MEDICINAL... yet conservative Big Government still looms over the lives, just waiting of a chance to make YOU into a felon! Conservatives promote liberty and oppose Big Government... what utter, double tripe!

"You can't define conservatism without these nine words. I'll pause while you get out your pens."

OK.... pen at the ready! Let's hear this gem.

"Conservatism is the political philosophy that sovereignty resides in the person."

(Camera shows conservatives scribbling, some scratching their head. Guess they've never heard this before.)

Well that's 11 words, but we understand.

"It's the idea that you are born with all the rights you will ever have. Government can protect those rights, or take them away. Government doesn't give you any rights."

Well, well, well, don't we have an interesting statement here. Who knows where Schneider came up with this definition. It is NOT the definition of the dictionary or thesaurus. He doesn't mention tradition and hierarchy, the truly most sacred things to conservatives. But let's try to break it down, and see if tradition and a dominating hierarchy don't show their slimy faces.

So you are "born with all the rights you will ever have." Ah yes, we see how that can be very useful to the conservative mind. It goes back to Edmund Burke's "chain of subordination." In the conservative world, if you are born female, you should never expect to have the same rights as a male; if you are gay, you should never expect to have the rights of a hetero; Schneider has described conservative thinking quite accurately. And, of course, there is another aspect of these "nine words" that American conservatives firmly believe, but only the Alt-Right is forthcoming about: If you are born non-white, you can never expect to have the rights of the white person. BINGO! Thanks, Mr. Schneider, for that eloquent admission of your idelogoical compatability with skinheads!

And the second part of his mantra: Government can protect or take away, but cannot give rights. Hmmm... Ah, sure, it makes perfect conservative sense. Government must protect the "natural rights" of the hierarchy, the male, the white skinned, the wealthy, the property owner, the corporation, the Christian, the hetero, man over nature... you know, all of those "rights" that have been somehow grandFATHERED in for generations (you know, traditional values)... and the government can take away rights, presumably from those awful people who would try to impinge upon the rights of this favored part of the hierarchy (and thus their perennial interest in "law and order"... and prisons!)... but the government cannot give rights... to anyone outside that hierarchy of interests. So, that's why conservatives fight so hard to deny liberty and rights to so many "others." The government has no right to give rights! How convenient for those that already have them. So no healthcare rights. No education rights. No consumer rights. No right to clean air and clean water. No right to demand equal justice against wealth and power. Certainly no right to unionize and demand higher wages or safer working conditions. Sorry poor people, women, children, Indians, blacks, workers, consumers, gays, transgender, immigrants, etc., etc., etc. You are shit out of luck. We like having rights that you don't have, and mean to keep it that way... suckers! Voter suppression? Immigration? Consumer Protections? Environmental Protections? Justice for All? Hey, don't look at the government for help... it can't give rights! Well, maybe we will make a little, teeny-tiny exception for corporations, and give a totally fictitious entity the legal standing of a person! Ah, conservatism, it fervently believes what it believes, until it doesn't.

"These other guys, the Alt-Right, they do not believe that. They do not believe in individual liberty or freedom."

Oh, Mr. Schneider, you just can't quit the stupid. Of course, they do. They believe in just what you said... "government can't give rights." Just like you, the Alt-Righters love individual liberty and freedom, for them, as white, male, hetero, Christian (mostly, but it doesn't matter)... but not for all those horrible "others." Come on, dude, listen to your own words, look at the record of conservatism. "These other guys" are you.

"Fascists tend to want Big Government to impose their will on you."

Exactly! Just like conservatives! Conservatives use Big Government to impose their "traditional values" over all citizens and override universal value. Hey, remember Prohibition? When conservatives used Big Government to prevent anyone from drinking alcohol ever again! That was great, wasn't it? Oh, those were good times.

How about Abortion? Hey, if you don't like abortion, don't have one. You have no right to impose your religious beliefs and interpretation of where life begins upon the rest of us. Where did you get this right? From nowhere. You are asking the govenment for this right. But you just told us that government can't give rights. You are confused, Mr. Schneider. You also just said that "Conservatism is the political philosophy that sovereignty resides in the person." But here we have more pure contradiction, another instance of conservatives fervently believing in some principle... until they don't. You completely negate yourself with abortion, in determining to take over a woman's very body, and thus steal her sovereign personhood... all justified by your religion. Liberal Big Government has tried to liberate Americans from such oppression, but just as you say, conservative fascism wants Big Government to impose its will on the majority. Look in the mirror, Mr. Schneider. Amd oh, by the way, the Alt-Right couldn't agree with you more on this one. Like you, they do so want to keep those women under the patriarchal thumb. Conservative patriarchy... just another facet of the Dominator Hierarchy.

How about the War on Drugs? Hey, if you don't like marijuana, don't smoke it. Just like your great idea, Prohibition (see our aricle on this great conservative experiment), the War on Drugs has been an utter disaster for our country as a whole and devastating for millions upon millions of otherwise totally innocent and law-abiding citizens.

How about the Big Government Police State? Is it remotely possible that there really are rogue cops, bullying, breaking laws, terrorizing their own communities and screwing with innocent citizens? According to you, no. Oh, except when conservatives are targeted, and then, oh my, the Big Government police state becomes the hugest threat to "freedom." But totally innocent black men (and sometimes boys) getting gunned down by cops - "following department protocol" - with no consequences of any kind is not Big Government overreach in your mind.

How about Gun Control? You think it is just peachy that the NRA buying off Big Government to ignore 80 percent of the citizens of this Republic who want sane gun control. Oh, you say the Second Amendment guarantees you the right to guns, indeed, any weapon. But wait! You believe he Constitution is a dead instrument, and that it should be strictly interpreted. OK, we can play that game. First of all, the Second Amendement mandates that your right to bear arms must be as part of a "well regulated Militia." But you are part of no "well regulated militia," ergo, you do not have the right you claim. Second, taking the Constitution as a dead instrument to be interpreted strictly according to what the Founding Fathers intended, then your right to bear arms includes only those weapons that would have been known at the time, i.e. flintlock muskets and pistols. So it is YOUR BIG GOVERNMENT that is not only unconstitutional but oppressing the will and rights of that huge majority of American who want background checks and the banning of automatic and semi-automatic military-style weapons.

How about School Prayer and the Ten Commandments in the Courthouse? Yes, these have been banned, thankfully, no thanks to conservative Big Government that unconstitutionally allowed Christian domination over all other belief systems for nearly 200 years.

How about voter suppression? Since they lost the Civil War to "conserve" slavery, conservatives have been busy using Big Government to deny voting rights to... well, anyone they don't think will vote the right way. You see, conservatives don't really believe in democracy, they believe in some form of fascism. Sure, it might be Fascism Lite for many conservatives, while the Alt-Right has a taste for stronger stuff. But it's still fascism: oppression of a weaker populace through the tyranny of the government.

We could go on and on about the ways conservative Big Government has been fascist in its efforts to impose conservative "traditional values" upon all of the rest of society. You really don't want us to go back in history too far... as your impositions of Big Government get more and more ghastly and appalling as we go further back.

So you are correct that fascists love Big Government to impose their will on the public, specifically in denying rights and curtailing liberty overall. This is conservatism. Liberals do the opposite. Liberals use Big Government to expand overall liberty. This may mean constraining the liberty of certain actions - as in requiring seat-belt use, or mandating insurance, or regulating certain dangerous or damaging practices, but this is an absolute requisite of a civil society. Liberals strive for that balance between maximum individual right and "the general welfare," as mandated by the Constitution. Conservative strive for the "conservation" of the Dominator Hierarchy... precisely the goal of the Alt-Right.

"Fascism is actually much more akin to socialism. I'm not going to get into the details now, it would get a little boring."

Aw, no backing up your outrageous statment? Nothing at all? Just a sweeping criminal indictment of yet another innocent entity that has no real association with fascism at all? How responsible of you. The Party of Person Responsibility again taking no responsibility. You coward! Well, that's conservatism, for you. No facts, just cowardly, dastardly lies.

But let's dismantle this ignorance. Socialism is primarily an economic system. This economic system could be laid upon a variety of political or governmental systems. It is related to the democratic control of the means of production, meaning primarily the economy. Our American system is largely based on socialism. In fact, democracy itself is a form of socialism. The opposite of this would be a monarchy, or an oligarchy (extreme capitalism), a dictatorship, or other totalitarian rule, which allowed no control of the means of production - or anything else in the society - by the vast majority of citizens. Anything that the "public" owns and is able to control or utilize for their benefit - such as roads, bridges, parks, police and fire departments, utilities, the military, even public officials and public corporations, are all part of "socialism." Capitalism works very well with socialism. A balance between the two has been proven to be the best socio-economic system ever devised by man. Such a balance promotes not only liberty, but innovation and entrepreneurship, and at same time protects the commons, or "general welfare."

Fascism actually hates socialism. Yes, the Nazis called themselves "socialists," but that was yet another conservative disinformational ruse to make it seem like they were on the People's side, while they quickly betrayed real socialism and organized into a totalitarian hierarchy of power that curtailed liberties and enslaved all Gerrmans. Soviet-style "communism" did precisely the same thing, promising to be a people's movement, then almost immediately morphing into yet another of history's many ruthless totalitarian tragedies. There was nothing "leftist" about Hitler, Stalin, Mao, Castro, Pol Pot, or the current tyrants of modern North Korea, Iran, Saudi Arabia, Syria, Yemen, Somalia, and so many other failed CONSERVATIVE states. These are conservative because they "conserve," you go it, tradition and hierarchy. What tradition? Might makes right. What hierarchy? The Dominator Hierarchy.

The Alt-Right is perfectly in goose-step with such totalitarian thugs. The last thing they want is a social democracy. They want a Reich. Milder conservatives may recoil from that term, but they, too, want to dominate. Donald Trump promised them a return of their domination. And all white conservatives are thrilled...including the Alt-Right.

"Hateful LEFT-WING fascists are not like anybody here. The Alt-Right ain't Right at all."

Two sentences. Three lies. Even for a conservative, that's pretty efficient. Fascists are not left-wing, they are right-wing, and therefore just like everybody at CPAC (and really like the actual Alt-Righters who were sitting, stewing, in your audience). Yes, Mr. Schneider, while it is most certainly true that the Alt-Right is Right, it is ironically also correct that it, and the rest of the Right, is not right. Indeed, all of conservatism is all wrong!

One last thing, Dan Schneider. You are a disgrace to America. Like so many conservatives before you - including the original American conservatives, the Tories - you are a traitor to real American values and universal virtue. You are at least as evil, and perhaps more so than the Alt-Right. As horrendous as they are, on the honesty scale they are boy scouts compared to your lying ass. You are a misbegotten, spurious, sniveling, back-stabbing con-man. No one in American politics deserves worse, not even the lying gatling gun Trump. At least he has not called liberals fascists... yet. You have. Take your own brand of fascist hate and lies and evil... and go away!